2019-04-09 14:17 供稿单位: 新航道
“If a university will spend money on dormitory to improve the life quality of students, which of the following do you think is the best way?
-providing a quiet room for study；
-building a room for physical exercise；
-providing a place for entertainment (for example, a place to watch movies).”
It is a misconception that college students can be soaked in the pleasure of living a campus life and thus barely pay attention to the quality of their dormitories. In fact, it is exactly because their dorm life is cheerful that they have a good time on campus. If a university has some money to spend on providing a better dorm life for the students, it is advisable that the university use the money to build a room for quiet study. [难得长一点的开头：81 words，因为前两句的引入略长一丢]
[耐住性子，好好码主体部分第一段：A比B] This room is certainly moredesirable than a room for physical exercise or a room forleisure. Here comes the first reason. There must be a sport center where students can go to for physical exercise. As a matter of fact, it may be a quite large complex that includes a gym and an indoor multi-functional sport court and probably a number of other features. If a student wants to sweat, the sport center is where to go. At this point, it is fair for some to point out [经典的让步位置，和引出让步的话语] that the library likewise serves a need that the dorm does not need to serve and that students may visit the library if they want to study. However, does a student need to exercise through the night? [笔者最爱使用的反问句，下文中又数次出现] A student who is desperate to burn some calories can do the night run outside.Can a student who is eager to study go outside and read under the street lamp? [笔者最爱使用的反问句] Also, quietness is certainly unnecessary when a student do fitness training, and it is required but cannot be guaranteed for another student who tries to read when the dorm mates lift weights or run on a machine and make noises in a nearby room (we cannot assume that the dorm building has space for the gym to be far enough from dorm rooms or that the room is absolutely sound-proof).
[读者的耐心可能被消耗差不多了，主体部分第二段要：A比B，要明显短一点] Likewise, the recreational room, for movie-viewing as an example, has the same problem of noise. [如果还是“噪音”点，那就干脆一句话了事] While there is no need to repeat the noise problem,[是的，重复的理由不赘述] it is necessary to point out that I am not asking students to go out for a movie during the late night. It certainly is not as safe as staying in the dormitory, not to mention that a proper campus has a hall that can be used for movie-viewing. In fact, students can always use their computers to watch a film rather than visit a cinema. For shared pleasure, a couple of them or a group of them cansqueeze in one room. Isn’t it cozy in cold weather? [笔者最爱使用的反问句] Also, isn’t it nice that some other students read in the room built and designated for quiet study while they have fun—they may watch films, play pool or sing karaoke—and howl with hearty laughter? [笔者最爱使用的反问句]
At this point, I think we can safely expect the money to be spent on providing a quiet room for the purpose of study.[结尾尤其无需长，篇幅短小发挥总结的功能就好]