2019-02-11 17:56 供稿单位: 新航道 原创作者:章跃
Do you agree or disagree with the following state?
It is better to work alone at home than to work with others at a company.
【上来就小让一步 → In solitude, some may be productive as there are few distractions – workmates. 【紧接着，立刻转折 →However, 【然后干脆就把全文的两个分论点总结了→those distractions actually may be inspirations. In addition, an office is a proper place where we get things done, as it has a ceremonious feel. 【接下来不就很自然的表明自己的立场了么 →Therefore, working with others at a company is preferable compared with working alone at home.
【具体讨论时，还是先让一小步 → It is not unlikely that colleagues produce more diversions than quality ideas, in which case they should be avoided, and home therefore is a safehouse, free from the chaos. 【然后不要留恋，果断转折，进入第一个分论点】 However, home may be too quiet. ← 短句子（不要有具体信息）用来“缓一下信息节奏”，然后跟一个长一些的句子展开说明具体的情况 → As a matter of fact, a worker needs to hear all kinds of voices, behind which hide intellectual sparks ← 从句里的“倒装”】. 不用“For example”这样的措辞，换一种措辞方式来引出例子 → It is better to have many things and sort them out than to have nothing. I am personally convinced of this point ← 指代了上一句话】, as I had such an experience last week, when I thought I wanted to be left alone during the preparation of the slides for my presentation. With no one disturbing me ← “独立主格结构”作状语】, my mind was ironically ← 暗示了转折：有时候，“评价性”副词可能可以扮演“逻辑性”副词的角色】stuck. It was confined and could not generate satisfactory ideasuntil I moved to the office, where my co-workers spoke many ideas among which I found the inspiration I needed. The lesson ← 其实指代了立场】was therefore learned.
【这一次，不让步，直接进入第二个分论点 → An office creates a favorable condition, the right ambience, ← 用同位语为核心信息作第一步细化】for working. The lighting, the furniture, and the companionship of colleagues ← 为核心信息作进一步细化，然后道理就说完了】all motivate the workers. 【然后换用举例论证，不妨就“让我在里面” →For example, thecalm light and the business-styled desks and chairs provoke my strong sense of identity as a computing professional, enabling me to work effectively. More importantly, I develop team-spirit, feeling responsible for my fellow staff, and my morale is boosted. It is not unlikely that I want to sneak out of my seat; however, the embarrassment and guilt make me stay as I see my peers working hard. Also, when fatigue strikes, I am enabled to hold myself together by the company my colleagues provide. If I worked in my couch, as I do not even have a proper desk at home, nothing would be achieved. ← 形成对比，正好虚拟，简单一句，却满满的信息量】Time also is a crucial advantage of the office setting. As most staff follow a synchronized timetable when they work under the same roof, they are whipped to finish their assignments before they are late. No one likes to be the last, the inefficient and the incompetent. By contrast, when a person works alone at home, nothing seems urgent and indolence is highly likely. ← 形成对比，没有虚拟，仍然是简单一句】
【偷懒却高效的结尾段落，就是基本重复开头段落的内容，措辞上改头换面 → Solitude is not necessarily helpful as is thought, and it may be counterproductive, in fact. We need to be distracted by our coworkers to be inspired, and we need the business-furnished space to attend to our business properly. No doubt, it is better to work with others than to work alone at home.